I've always been writing.
I grew up being a book worm. When I was in Mrs.Leland's second grade class, she couldn't believe I read The Lost Heroes of Olympus by Rick Riordan, a 592 page book. I remember telling my father in middle school I wanted to be an author, and he told me to please not become a starving artist.
But I kept writing anyway. After high school when the curriculum stopped demanding essays, I turned to journaling to satisfy this innate itch. I always had many thoughts - and was scared of losing them forever. I was scared of losing memories as well. So at the start of every new year, I bought the same exact notebook. The first page was the past year's highs and lows, followed by New Year's resolutions.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that I've always struggled to verbally express my feelings and how much I care for people. I don't receive words of affirmation well either. Whether that's from childhood trauma or something else, I'm not completely sure. My way of caring has always been different. Cooking for friends, buying them food, handcrafting gifts, hosting at my apartment. Leaving my door unlocked in case people need something, which probably isn't the safest thing to do in Wampus. Sometimes it's the little things like driving, or just listening… the list goes on. Ironically enough, despite how much I enjoy writing - when it comes down to words, it's in the form of a letter, not coming directly from my mouth.
So after saying all this, why did I decide to create Jason's Balcony? Going into my final year in college, one of my biggest prayers is becoming more vulnerable. To be able to share the raw version of my testimony with my brothers and sisters in Christ. To be able to share who I am when I write. To be able to be confident in not being judged. Deep down, I've always been terrified of the idea that:
I know my friends, but do they truly know me? Have I been cheating them this whole time?
Just like my plants that grow slowly in my balcony, I hope that by sharing my writing and videos, I can grow to become more comfortable expressing myself. Grow into someone my friends really know. Who knows, maybe people will enjoy reading these too. Follow along as I write through life to find Him.
Welcome to Jason's Balcony.